Poems
Although I've been writing here and there for most of my adulthood, I've never been keen to share with the world (or anyone really) until we began hosting spoken work nights at The Forge Banff. I didn't really know what to expect, but I found such a friendly and supportive group, where everyone is celebrated for putting a bit of themselves out there, sharing their thoughts and feelings in poem or prose.
I'll continue to publish some of (what I think are) my better works here, along with some others from friends and family.
Acceptance
My scientist friend
Dr bodkin van horn
Came to me with a crazy proposal
Come with me and you will see
The contraption that is at my disposal
This go back device lets you change what you did
Lets you try it all over, turn into the skid
That terrible girlfriend, that other one too
The drunken embarrassments, head down the loo
The missteps and wrong turns, with this fine machine
You get a do over. You wipe the slate clean.
I leaped out of my seat with this intriguing pitch
I could feel the temptation, a deep profound itch
To clear out the debt of my past sounded great
But wait just a moment, could this change my fate?
My thoughts went to butterflies flapping their wings
The smallest of changes hits all sorts of things
How could I know of the detour I'd take
If I went back and changed just a single mistake
My wife and I talked at length right from the start
Of dreadful ex-partners that damaged our hearts
I asked myself would we have bonded so fast
Had it not been for this shared crappy past
My parenting style has a definite theme
Not to follow my own parents hostile regime
From a very young age I learned how not to be
So my kids grow up happy, I hope they'll agree
I confronted my brother about his addiction
Without any thoughts of his pain of affliction
I'll always regret the harsh tone that I used
Yet it pushed him to quit, so can I be excused?
I've had jobs in the past blown up in my face
Call it self-sabotage, a supreme fall from grace
But maybe I would not be now living here
Had I not taken liberties with my career
On balance I think that I'd better decline
The use of this science-defying design
As although its function at first seems benign
It fails to account for how fates intertwine
Skin Deep
I saw a fella say online about some supermodel
That she's the world's most perfect girl, or some such silly twaddle
Not an ounce of fat upon her frame and legs for days and days
A rounded bum and boobs galore sure set his loins ablaze
Such superficial rumination is pretty standard fare
From those who think it is their right to ogle and compare
Beauty is of course skin deep let's make that clear upfront
Suggestions otherwise are dumb, if I may be blunt
Bodies are supposed to age, with grace and dignity
In scientific terms we all must bow to entropy
But it made me think about my wife and how I view her frame
I wouldn't change a tiny thing, let me explain my claim
Hers is the body that made a vow on our wedding day
Hers is the body that held me close when my brother passed away
Hers is the body that carried my children safely all that time
Hers is the body that rests at night, soundly next to mine
Her body gives the greatest hugs, so warm and kind and tender
The thought that I could look away? There could be no contender
Her body is a wife to me, and to my kids a mother
Hers is the body that I love, and I would have no other
Good Boy
The clock had struck the hour of two
And all around was dim
I was woken to a feeling
On my "lower limb"
A touch of tongue, a gentle lick
Could not believe my luck
A night time treat had just begun
Were we about to… cuddle?
But something was amiss it seemed
My brain it gave me pause
Was something happening down there
Outside of nature's laws?
Why Nina, did you always have such hair?
Why Nina, how can you be over there?
I threw back the sheets, I yelped with fright
What was happening this night?
A small wet nose and furry face
Nuzzled in my "special place"
I saw the source of this amor
A puppy was my paramour
He wished to be my Valentine
A shiver leaped right up my spine
He didn't want our tryst to end
Species boundaries transcend
I'm sorry Baffy, but in the end
I only love you as a friend
Why I'm an Ally
The world it has its problems
That much is clear to see
Major shit is going on
Outside of you and me
Wars and famine, right wing hate
The big pandemic lockdown
Much more worthy of concern
Than someone else's pronoun
Confusion is my main response
To bigots filled with hate
And why such simple tolerance
Must make them so irate
"You do you" is my response
To another person's life
So long as they're not hurting folk
I'll not be causing strife
To be "woke" it simply means
In touch with social issues
If this really bugs you so
Can I offer you some tissues?
I don't give a flying fuck
If you're a he or she or they
But there are some things I care about
And things that I must say
I'm not going to hate
Who you choose as your mate
I'll be happy, call me woke
If they enjoy a good Dad joke
I'm not going to diss
Who you choose to kiss
I'll be friendly when I meets her
Unless she puts pineapple on pizza
I truly do not care
What is in your underwear
These are not important things
Unlike your thoughts on chicken wings
Not my business if you're queer
Just don't make me watch Mamma Mia
Not my business if you're gay
When you've got Star Wars on Blu-ray
Not my business if you're in or out
But please don't serve me a Brussels sprout
Not my business, I don't care
You're safe with me, pull up a chair
He's Humping Her Again
He's humping her again today
This time it's on the floor
I don't wanna slut shame
But he's a bloody whore
He humps her leg, he humps her butt
He humps her in her face
Surprisingly he never humps her
In her special place
He knows not why he does this thing
The hormones in control
The primal urge to pelvic thrust
And wave his wee flag pole
His brain is very small you see
Of this he cannot boast
His intellect comparable
With a slice of dry white toast
I cannot think that evolution
Had a hand in his creation
The good genes of his ancestors
All lost in their translation
For peak performance he is not
No trophies shall he win
And yet his heart is filled with love
His beauty is within
He may eat poo, and bark and bark
And throw up on the stairs
And terrorise the postie
And chew the legs off chairs
At least he's entertaining
We never shall be bored
He's in our pack, we love him so
He'll always be adored
Orange is Not a Colour
Mr President appears to think
That orange is not a colour
The nature has no nuance
It's one thing or the other
No tones, no grades and no degrees
No spectrum to behold
We didn't have these woke ideas
Back in the days of old
The colours are red, and green and blue
He'll write it out in law
Anything else is communist
Of this he is quite sure
But nature does not work this way
It evolves, adapts and changes
No one thing is absolute
Despite the bigot's rages
Our variety is what makes us strong
Don't put us in a box
Don't define humanity
Based on whether we have cocks
You think an order changes facts
This rainbow Earth says no
You do not get to define
How we live or where we go
So keep your hatred and your bile
Your opinions are archaic
Your type will not win this fight
This world is a mosaic
Orange IS a colour
Every shade is just as true
Just as every person born
Has a right to their shade too